Instant Reblog 1
An Internet picture, I am the coat of arms you hang in your two most prominent forts. You posted me on Facebook when you were feeling mainstream and posted me on tumblr when you were still mainstream but felt alternative. “Cut out the toxic people. You’ll breathe easier.” This text floats above a field immersed in purple fog and foreground mushrooms. You’re not toxic. Shiitake shrooms are well known for avoiding toxic people’s pages, particularly when growing in pastures this lavender. Instead, the fungi are your lawyers consulting their caps as law books, seeking to justify your right to kick out your family (or, really, some close friends). And it isn’t arrogance. You are no caricature of a Gummi Bear as drawn by their TV show’s theme, a song that, driven by nostalgia, you looked up the other day on YouTube. “They take pride in knowing they fight for what’s right in whatever they do”? Really? WHATEVER they do? No guilt, no lapse in judgment, no uncertainty? So the singer’s saying that Gruffi didn’t spend the night banging his hammer on the hallway doors’ arches just to wake up Grammi, who’s refused to speak to him since he kicked out Zummi last week after the magician, under the power of an invisibility spell and Gummiberry Juice mixed with absinthe, bounced all over Gusto’s grotto until he tore the wooden bathysphere the artisans had built to pieces? Is that what he’s saying? Obviously, you’d never act like that. You’ve probably never called up John to tell him he’s a piece of shit just because you were mad that Amy called to tell you you’re a piece of shit. And even if you did, you’re not THEM. Don’t give a damn about THEM. The only way you’d become one of THEM is if they reblog me.