That Solitary Brick
In Jerusalem
It’s been said
When you pray
At the Western Wall
You always remember
That solitary brick
Upon which your
Head rests
Truth in this statement
Is as abundant
As the notes
Between the cracks
Of the wall
That solitary brick
Was a recipient
Of tears
I was not ready to shed
In that moment
I was not prepared
To greet vulnerability
With the same glance
As the one I gave
When I struggled to
Write my intentions
Which read
‘As I stand by this wall
I hope to tear down another.’
Credos of social anxiety
Sent directly to Hashem
Shortcomings I could not express
Eloquently in my speech
Sadness I could not convey
With the sincerity
Of the breath I held
In the hopes of
Receiving something
For which to breathe
Remembering how a belt
I wrapped around my neck
Was consensual
Among my split personalities
Remembering how
I questioned whether
I even wanted to live
To see the rest
Of a country
I had the luxury
Of visiting for free
That solitary brick
Remembers my secrets
It remembers the tears
My third eye shed
When my depression
Could have replenished
The Dead Sea
For centuries
As I write this
The vision of
That solitary brick
Is clobbering me
Between the eyes
That solitary brick
Needs to dismantle
The giant I harbor
To protect the mind
I still have yet to conquer