Scam Artist
A guy’s got to get by.
Who better to support me
than the kids from high school
who made my life hell because
Ma took in male boarders
and Dad took a powder faster
than I can snort a line of soda?
So I got the emails of everyone
I knew back then, wrote to say
I’d married, but she wasn’t
what an honest man would expect:
took out a couple of policies
on my life, then hired a guy,
who blasted me, left me blind,
then kidnapped our daughter.
Now I’m fighting for her custody,
since how could I leave
sweet Amy in her depraved hands?
Worked like a snake charm,
until these two sisters hired me
a lawyer; I split the state faster
than if the mob were on my trail.