Michael Waterson
Washington Portrait
In May of 1784 Washington paid several unnamed “Negroes,” presumably Mount Vernon
slaves … for nine teeth … Washington probably underwent the transplant procedure.
–Mary V. Thompson, “The Secret Life of George Washington’s Slaves,” PBS.org
It’s fiction that his buttoned-up expression
is owing to him wearing wooden dentures,
a yarn that like the cherry tree confession
embellished the American adventure
by rendering him human, one of us.
The sweet tooth of the rich induced decay,
and though successes landed hit or miss,
some dental transplants took place in his day,
despite the risk of catching syphilis
from a donor as a malignant bonus.
But the father of his country needn’t worry;
Mount Vernon grew a crop of human mouths,
which as the master he could harvest freely
should his cosmetic surgery go south.
Other work by Michael Waterson