The Laws We Live By—You Be the Judge
They say that in Alaska it is illegal to push a live moose
out of a moving airplane.
In New Jersey there is a town that prohibits planting shade trees
along highways or alleys if they obscure the air.
In Vermont clotheslines have a special provision
preventing anyone in the future from outlawing them.
In Arkansas there is a correct way to pronounce
the name of the state for oral official proceedings.
In Alabama it is illegal to drive while blindfolded
and in Quitman, Georgia chickens are not allowed to cross the road.
The last two are questionable and have me scratching my head.
But in Washington the Undiscovered Species Protection Act of 1969
makes it illegal to harass or hurt Sasquatch. Really?
Humans seem to require definition, parameters, restrictions
though it doesn’t stop misbehavior.
Years ago, some clever middle school students added vodka
to orange juice bottles sipping cocktails during the school day.
After that, they had to open them in front of teachers
who listened for the snap of the bottle cap.
Students argue how obscure these rules are with me. I explain,
“Someone did something wrong more than once and got caught.”
Does that explain this Florida law, or urban legend, no longer on the books?
If you park your elephant, you must feed the meter.
Well, Sarasota is the home of Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus,
perhaps there was some truth to that one.