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a journal of literature & art

The Literary Review

Issue 10         Page 69

The Stones in My Heart

after reading two poems by Caleb Nolan

There is no simple way

to honor my dead. I carry

each as a stone. Over

the years their numbers

have grown. They weigh

me down, heavy, heavy.

Yet some days I still

move with a lightness

that comes from them,

from what they seeded

in me that has grown

into what I am, lifts me

though my days.

They are my wings.

Road

The nearest road

within earshot of my windows

carried (long ago) a lull

between cars and I could imagine the whoosh-whoosh

as waves and I envisioned the waves

were from a calm & constant sea

lit by moon, gulls sleeping on the sand.

Now is now is later, is after

that time gone (it has gone

like those fast legs of mine

that once tapped their way across the linoleum

on the kitchen floor of my parents’

home (door ajar,

I can see it, but it’s gone) (nor is there

any door))                   instead, now, the road

(a highway, really) carries endless cars &trucks

(no longer any lull between)

24-hours a day so that when I

close my eyes at night, I picture

the river the the highway runs by,

moon casting on the water a road of silent light

shimmering and bright.

Solastalgia

floods the floors

of my chambers

with tears of sorrow

different in molecular design

than tears of hope. Many

scenarios lead

to a new beginning

or to an ending.

I don’t know

to which it is we’re headed

but I know too much

is already lost.

How the topic of death worked itself
into our (festive) gathering

—inspired by Bob Seger’s In Your Time

Redux, this gathering, this group. Of us.

Once intent on, dependent on             our youth

and into middle. Now we compare

with our eyes              still able to see

who we are is who we were

except for how we’re no longer, quite.

It’s a shame and it’s not. Laughter fills

our glasses even if some of us no longer

imbibe. Plenty of wine & seltzer to go around

along with the usual hummus and pita,

crackers and cheese. Apple cake for dessert

though some of us decline.

Between it all, the paragraphs of talk

and cheer, is the mention of the slide toward

the great unbroken void.. We see it

in each other’s eyes. Take photos

to hold what may no longer be

a next time in our time.

© Jadina Lilien: Dream of the Forests

Color Field

after Mark Rothko, No. 14, 1951, c. 1949-1951, oil on canvas,

Space between & around

ever-so slight, there if I stare

as though slightest

movement apart is occurring

in an almost immeasurable departure

one edge from the other

and the more I look, concentrate

at staying with the looking at

the brighter it becomes

until I can place in it

glory and grace

and still have room for love.

Father

I stand barefoot

on your shoulders, your hands

raised to meet mine

to steady me so I can be

tall enough to see

the nest of baby birds

just hatched.

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