I believe that this antic happened after my expedition to Africa. While there, I came in contact with many tribes and although their traditions are bizarre, they were quite fun to learn about. I found it interesting how children half my size hunted lions. Even though I am a rich man, I like to put that aside to go on escapades. Before I left Africa, an old man held out his hand and in it was a tiny black oval, an African Black Nut. In broken English he said, “Plant where it will be honored.”

            When I got home to Montauk Manor, my butler, Andrew, greeted me. He was wearing a black and white suit, hand behind his back, and a low bow. I went straight to the phone to call my companions. They decided to stay home when I went out of the country to Africa. Mostly because they need a mani-pedi every three days.

            As I waited for my friends, I thought about what my life would have been like if I had married Annabelle, the love of my life. Instead, she married Lucas Gray. And after this heartbreak, I barely made it through my studies in business. If I had married her, I may not be living in a manor, but I would have a nice family. 

            I had taken a short shower, but I wasn’t able to do my regular routine. You are kind of held back with only shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and a half hour. After about an hour, my friends pulled up in their red, blue, and black sports cars, but I was bewildered when a purple car pulled up. When the purple car door opened, my hair must have gone gray for a minute because there was Lucas Gray. He was in a red polo shirt, hair gelled back, and his regular dumb smirk. One friend came up to me and said, “We saw him on they way over here and Tony insisted he join us.” Of course it was Tony. He was always sucking up to Gray, that damned fool. Then Gray opened his mouth to speak and a plan started formulating in my head that would clear Gray from my life for good.

            My friends and I went up to the billiard room for a game of pool. All around it was Manhattans, but once again, Gray was being a snob by not drinking any alcohol. My companions and I like to play in silence, but Gray went on and on about his work as a geologist. I always wondered to myself, what type of person finds rocks fun. Gray also bragged about how good he was at poker, so we set the set the billiard sticks aside and shifted to the card table. He kept losing his money. This made me giddy.

            Later that evening, as all of my companions were leaving through the arch in my door, I noticed Lucas was a tad melancholy. I did not bother asking him what was wrong, but I did invite him for a hike in the morning at Montauk Point State Park. He replied that would be nice. I knew it would be advantageous if I got an idea of my soundings, so when everyone was out of sight I grabbed a flashlight and hopped in my car and drove to the state park. I remembered going there many times as a child. I loved to climb the trees and see the seals. There was always one seal on the beach. It was as if he never migrated. I called him flop because he would flop down and sunbath for hours. I always thought the park could do away with the stagnate water, small ponds that drew too many mosquitos in the summer. The smell was wretched.

            Pulling into the parking lot, I saw a crow’s nest that was on a swing. What a queer place for a nest I thought to myself. My car keys dangled in the ignition as I turned off the car. The car door floated upward on it hinges, and I got out. I pressed the button to open the trunk and picked up a large shovel. 

            Half way along the tiny peninsula, seeing only with my flashlight and by the moon, I began to dig. Though it was gross, I powered through — through a rat skeleton and the mirky smells. It was a hard, long job, but it was night so I doubted anyone would come into the park. When I reached six feet, I hid all the dirt in the bushes and covered the hole with twigs and leaves. The shovel went in with the dirt. On the way back, I felt queasy with what I would do tomorrow, but I knew it must be done. 

            “And a 1838 Chardonnay,” I told Andrew. The cook laid a lamb stew bowl in front of me. I was looking forward to the stew, but the thoughts in my mind just kept lingering, making it difficult to enjoy my food. I had never done something like this, and I never wanted to, but I had to do it. I forced myself to pick up the spoon on the right side of my bowl. Andrew set down my Chardonnay next to the bowl. It was full-bodied and had a hint of pineapple. As I wiped the last drops of moisture from my mouth, Andrew took my bowl and the cook laid down a chocolate lava cake in front of me. How I always wanted to sit with Annabelle at a diner table with our children and see her smile. This thought made me realize I had to go through with the deed, and when the deed was done, maybe I could ask her to marry me. Hopefully, she would say yes. The flavor of the cake exploded in my mouth, although it did not raise my spirits. 

            I went to get changed for bed and was very exited to feel my mattress beneath me and not an uncomfortable cot like the ones I slept in for months. While I was away, nightmares had a terrible effect on me. However, at home I usually slept well, but that night I felt myself twitching and sweating in my white t-shirt and comforter more than usual. All of those horror books I read as a kid came sprinting back to me. 

            When I felt a hand on my shoulder, I almost punched Andrew. I almost forgot he gets me up at 7:00 am sharp. He gave me a glass of water and I took a sip. The cold water almost alleviated the lingering effects of the nightmares. When my push-ups and sit-ups were done, I put on the cargo pants I decided to wear yesterday and I went out the door. I ran down the stairs, sat down, and looked out the window toward the ocean. If only I was enough of a coward to run away from what I was to do that day. Waffles with real maple syrup and orange juice was my favorite meal ever since I could talk. Enjoying my last meal with a clean soul, I drench my waffles in maple syrup and chugged my drink. On the way out, I reach in my pocket to make sure it was in there. I took an empty water bottle and headed out.

            I turned the key in the ignition and I looked in the rear view mirror where I saw Annabel’s eyes. Yellow eyes which I had fallen for long ago. I couldn’t decided wether she was smiling or frowning. I looked forward to when the deed was done and I could watch her dance. The purple car was already in the parking lot and I knew I would have to find a way to get rid of it so it looked like Lucas had just disappeared.

            “This should be nice,” Lucas proclaimed when he saw me.

            “Yes,” I agreed, hoping my smile wouldn’t reveal too much.

            While hiking, I distracted Lucas by saying. “Wouldn’t this be a good place for a murder?” He looked at the scenery as I grabbed a water bottle out of my bag. “You know, I think it would,” he agreed. Seeing the water bottle, he asked for a sip. I gave it to him, but not before dropping some crushed up valium in the water. Taking a sip, he choked slightly, but he didn’t stop drinking. He also decided it would be a good place to have a snack. After a bite or two of his sandwich he grew clammy and started to fall off the log that he sat on.

            Quickly, I took off the sticks and leaves from the top of the crater-like feature and dragged the unconscious body to the hole. I stood him up vertically in the hole. It was only a matter of time before he woke up, so I grabbed the shovel and threw the dirt at his feet as if planting a tree. When the dirt reached his waist, he twitched. Worried he might wake, I worked faster. I put dirt in his mouth to make him go swifter. His face was almost covered when I started to feel sorry that he had to go this way, but he ruined my life, so he must pay. I took the little seed out of my pocket. It was the African black nut seed. I placed it in his mouth, drizzled it with some water, and piled the rest of the dirt on him. I stomped around to make it look like nothing had ever been dug up. Then I tossed the rest of the dirt into the stagnate pond. Before I left, I poured some more water on the the area where the seed was and then I went to get a drink at a nearby bar. 

            After about a month, the cops and detectives dropped the case because they were unable to find Lucas. I dated Annabelle, we got married, and had children. I visit the tree every day. When it was big enough, I wrote “Lucas” on it almost as if it were a head stone. People take selfies with it because most of them have never seen that type of tree. 

            I confess my sins on this piece of paper so I can try to live with less guilt. It doesn’t work.