Poetry of Issue 9: THE LAST RIDE TO RUDIOSO

Slept in people’s driveway last night

the dogs barked whenever we’d come out of the truck

didn’t see how angry the mother was

about not going to Rudioso

didn’t see about how all three of them said

when you’re un-happy we’re unhappy

didn’t see the children say

when we grow up mama we’ll make

money and take you to Rudioso.

didn’t see the mother plotting

how she would get up in the middle of the night

and leave anyway

didn’t see the father

sleeping on her pocket book and coat

didn’t see the mother

wake up in the middle of the night and remember

the child say – when you’re unhappy I’m unhappy –

and go back to sleep.

                                    **

first nite on the road they slept in a rest area at the Continental Divide

next day feeling the New Mexico sand

and a rabbit running across when they stopped.

Rudioso will be a mythical place

I never went back to

it would have been friendly

I would have found something there

I would have gotten a job at the “Inn of the Mountain of the Gods”

why go into the fact

that Athabaskan is a language of the

Hungarians and the Apaches

and so long ago the tribes

of Abraham and the tribes

of the Apache might have

been cousins,

why bother with the fact

that I was pulled toward Rudioso

it wasn’t a good road for an old truck

it wasn’t the best road

or the best weather

New Mexico I love you,

the mixture of sadness and delight in your landscape

We ran up a sandy hill

and down again

screaming with joy

and wind blowing our hair.

Pueblo isn’t an Indian word meaning ancient ruins

Pueblo is an Indian village of one- story concrete houses

faced in stucco mesas (buttes)

rising like pyramids near Santa Fe

gateway to the pretty city

Santa Fe,

a loaf of bread bought from Indian women

who sell jewelry.

Lesson for today

don’t open two doors at once in the wind

or you’ll get blown away

under the sunny sky flat plains stretch

Larry’s got the second wind

me too feeling better

maybe we’ll travel all night

thru Texas

you my date on this Saturday night?

tomorrow is Passover

and a full moon in Libra

you my date?

and we’ll go riding all night

until tomorrow.

the first thing you see

when you cross the Texas border

are cottonwood trees

for a little while

didn’t I poke into your gravy biscuit world

breakfast and cowboy hats

and country tunes played on the jukebox

Texas

crossroads of America

a little country in your manner,

hard rock on the radio

and streamlined roads

I kiss my daughter

and slap her down

because I think she’s thinking

I’m gonna do better than you guys

well maybe it would be nice to stay in motels

but just as good

is us four sleeping side by side

in back of the van.

and maybe I’m being unfair

maybe she thinks that

and thinks also

how lucky I am to have two parents

so many kids don’t

and yet didn’t I

lay on the floor

in the automat

screaming

because they didn’t have lambchops

and criticize my mother

because toothpaste

was stuck to the sink

Texas skyscraper – silo

the silo in Wildorado

looked like a crushed tin can

old panhandle skyscraper

its natural

and I’m foolish

to expect my children

to emulate what I am

stopping mid day

each day

the sun makes you tired

it’s nice at nite cool

‘the car likes it too,’ he says

it feels lonely

being in a town

where you don’t know

anybody

on a stormy night

friendlier this morning

in the sun

good ‘n hungry

with cup of coffee in my stomach

heading out

Anne bought a ball

stayed in a motel

last night

now we’re headin’ out

\

Roseanne’s sad

and that makes me sad too

her eyes look dull

is she thinking about her friends

and how different she is

from the girls in Glover?

I feel spring

in Oklahoma

flowering trees

if only Roseanne was

flowering

and not sad.

if one is unhappy

we all feel it

Larry said.

We gonna follow spring children

we gonna follow spring

I’m tired too –

don’t know what awaits me

Evil and good

will not hide

sleeping along the

Bisbee roadside

once you get in a

place you can

always get in

again but you

can’t always get

out

Larry’s driving

and I’m sitting here thinking

the radios working now

we’ve spent past two nites in motels

ran into tornadoes

and windy rain

a blown tire today

but it worked out ok

Larry’s good he’s the driver.

I’ve decided to give up

ownership of land and all the responsibility it entails

and move into this garage in Tennessee,

it’s nice

the bathroom is warm and clean,

the sinks are new

In the garage part – you know, where the men sit

there is candy and coffee machines

it’s got ‘jes about everything.

A lady just knocked on the door of my bathroom

I said “who is it?”

She said “Is this a one or a two?”

I counted the toilets there were two

I said ‘It’s a two”.

I wanted to be friendly. I said

“Are you on the road? I am too

That’s why I’m doin’ everythin’ this morning”.

I was putting on makeup. She left.

Then there was another knock

Her friend. When I opened the door

she said “Sorry.”

You see how easy it is to move in.

You just have to be there.

I walked out.

But it’s still too cool

for me to be up and about

my family’s still sleeping

Guess with me gone

they got more room.

Some men looked at me strange like.

But it don’ matter

I can always go back to my room.

Cep’ I’m getting a little restless

wish people didn’t sleep so long.

I sure wish I could sit in the garage part

where the men sit and listen to some music

and maybe even have a conversation.

But the man who’s there now

don seem as loose as the one

who was there before

He seems older and mebbe a little tighter

it’s just a thing you notice about how someone walks

an’ my family is jes’ sleepin’ and sleepin’

and it’s still cold out

I feel a chill against my legs

when I step out this door.

Decided to go in the room part

of the garage where the men sit

I jes’ get to feelin’ too lonely

and stifled in the bathroom.

you can’t see out nowhere

Well, the man was goin’ in

an I give him a little smile

an he turns like mebbe

he’s seen me an mebbe he don’t.

So I go on to the car and look in

and they all still sleepin’

Soon they’ll be up. it’s getting warmer

then there’ll be the foldin’ of the blankets

the kids’ll squabble as usual.

We’ll put some hot coffee in the thermos

the kids got juice and bread and oranges

an I guess we’ll be off

Guess I aint gonna move

into this bathroom anyways

There was another knock

I looked out.

At first I didn’t see no one

then I saw my husband.

He said “Hi sweetie.”

He was goin to the men’s room

It sounded nice the way he said hi sweetie

and the air feels cool and warm at the same time.

Redbud trees

along the highway

a Tennessee garage attendant

notices a loose bolt

it’s chilly

we don’t seem to be following spring

western winds seem to be following us.

Cloud’s Truckstop Rockwood, Tennessee

used to be dirty but now the air is

stop in your place long enuf to

exchange a few words

buy a few trinkets

you say your’n and

I say yours

you wear long sideburns

and you say we don’ look

as if we come from around here.

Three great cities in Tennessee

Knoxville, Nashville and Memphis

The Memphis Belle, Knoxville the industrial armpit

and Nashville the he-man pumpin’ gas

and strumin’ a guitar

Memphis tryin’ to catch the rock n roll market,

Nashville the music city and country sound

Loretta Lynn selling clothing

and her dude ranch from billboards

Redbud trees blooming everywhere

Baptist churches

and sex coloring books.

Sex used to be dirty but now air is they say

at the truck stop at Rockwoon, Tennessee.