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a journal of literature & art

The Literary Review

Issue 10           Page 5

Used, Good Condition

They’re more fables than stories –

he keeps referring to “the Tyrant”

and “henchmen.” The characters,

all very small-town, seem to want to

walk on all fours, if that’s

what Aesop creatures do, and talk like them,

naturally,

univocally. They cheered

the Tyrant, but that’s all in the past;

now nuclear weapons

a few miles east and west

of the village keep them honest.

(Some strangers appear, presumably

the heroes; seem human, don’t talk much.)

One or two critics

at the time spoke of kitsch, but

the guy who wrote the intro

dismisses them; he mentions all the right

Parisian names.

What bothers me, beside the brown and brittle

pages, is that everything is past –

in both text and intro

the Tyrant and his henchmen won’t

be back. A laundress, the blacksmith

say “guilt” at one point but

what’s going on is innocence. A sort of

fog seems to settle

over the words; the spine flakes.

So – back where it was

for more dust? It isn’t Ionesco or Beckett,

and one has to cull

before everything goes. Sometimes I browse

my own shelves without wanting to read.

Safe

Eventually he was found, fed,

warmed, cleaned, physically

healed, not forced

to do tricks as he thought of them

(which may have included

being made to believe things), not

tricked. But it was too late

(they may have thought but never said);

he never

learned trust. Would not, for example,

be touched. Didn’t

“act out,” grew quieter if anything. Had

his favorite spots. Watched, aged. All

that seemed in the end to matter

was consistency and lack of ambiguity.

I apologize for the latter:

he may have been a cat

or mankind in the cosmos

or one part of the mind in another.

Planck Scale

Useless all morning. Stumbled upon,

trying to process,

a formula that explains all

my failures, ties the many into one.

(Of course you alone are responsible:

you alone can be punished.)

Meanwhile dishes pile up, the phone rang.

I shall write a full confession, sign it,

text it to every name,

print copies and distribute them

on the street. Most will reject it,

shun me, but one or two

of the young

may bear it to the other country.

My Childhood

So many emotions entered

that hearty peasant soup

that after sixty years it tastes

only of starch.

Fortress of Solitude

There are types of solitude. Each has

its own culture, politics,

and moments of crisis. For the rich

these are brief, for they know whom to call

to make things go away. Elsewhere,

in rear apartments, offices,

and solitudes more diffuse,

there may or may not be a knock at the door;

crises are more concentrated when

what goes away experiences them.

I’m not sure it’s still there.

In memory, it let everyone in

as long as they talked softly to themselves,

kept their bags by their feet, and didn’t stink

too much. (A student once complained;

said he would have moved

to an empty table but there were none.

Affixing responsibility

to a staff-person, her reluctance,

confrontation and upshot went on for some time.)

Students slept

on books and laptops. Deal-makers

made deals, lovers parted, high-school girls

laughed; for such, locale is irrelevant.

In winter the smells of coffee and slush

merged into something like dog, and the sound

was also a composite:

aforementioned laughter, quarrels,

talk, a kind of music, drifts

of news I recall as boring, an ad

(though this is an anachronism)

that asked what was in my wallet.

I expressed my early genius there,

in notebooks between stares

at girls who were never alone or didn’t

wait, or straining to hear

conversations I wouldn’t enter.

My early work was bad. It involved

one figure trying to be two:

a kid’s loneliness and the kid, who had

forgotten how not to hate.

© Jadina Lilien: Dream of the Forests

A Deserter

I was killing time in Long Beach during

the first disasters, thinking how

the past tense and the distinction “early”/“late”

are a defense; as if the history

we are could take a breather in

the notes of a historian.

I sat on a bench in a once-deadly park,

now no more so than other places;

the sirens weren’t coming for my beer.

A tanker glowed on the horizon,

had burned a week, but the wind had shifted;

the night was almost still, there was almost air.

In the weeds opposite a vortex formed

and someone stepped from it and looked around

beneath the weight of helmet, pack, and what

I took to be a shoulder-mounted laser.

I offered her some beer. She didn’t

sit, spoke only telepathically

(I sensed it was a combat skill,

not to be wasted on emotion). The future, she said,

is exponentially worse,

but she was almost safe now – two more hops;

looked forward, in fact, to the Lindy Hop

and the clubs on Central Avenue. I asked

if I might see her face. For a moment

as her tunnel reformed she raised

that intimidating visor. I could see

betrayal, ravage, rage, no room for beauty.

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